Powerlessness. Know anyone who likes feeling powerless?
As Americans, we have an allergy to powerlessness. When we know that we have become powerless, we develop allergy symptoms such as resentment, worry, and negative expectations of self, circumstances, and future. This, in turn, leads to sometimes violent reactions to escape the condition of powerlessness.
Sometimes we lash out at the people nearby, be they people whom we love or people who we consider to be our enemies. But many of us are prone to violently lash out at the part of me that didn’t see this coming or did see it coming and still let this happen.
In the 1960s (when I was young), a psychologist by the name of Martin Seligman was studying reaction times in dogs. He gave his subjects a few seconds to jump over a low fence to avoid being shocked. He began to use increasingly shorter warning times until the dogs could not avoid being shocked. They developed a phenomenon that Seligman called “learned helplessness.” The dogs stopped trying.
It was as if they developed the belief, “There is nothing I can do, so why bother trying.” Furthermore, there seemed to be nothing that they could do to convince the dogs that trying made sense. If we look at their human counterparts, you can hear them say, “Voting doesn’t matter… there’s no point in trying to get to know my neighbors… God will never be happy with me…”
Christians have an interesting option when it comes to powerlessness.
Instead of lashing out, chiding self, or giving up all together, Christians can simply recognize that we are, in fact, powerless over a great many things. Actually, we are powerless over most things except one.
We are powerless to make people love us. We are powerless to make people like the things we like or adopt the goals we have. We are powerless to save the souls of wayward neighbors, to force morality upon others, or to fix their problems. The more we try to “make” people do what we cannot do, the more likely we are to lash out or give up.
But what if we use the nuclear option and stop trying to do what we cannot do? Won’t we start eating ice cream, stop paying our bills, and let mold grow on our laundry? Maybe.
Maybe, just maybe, we will listen to the voice of God when we feel powerless. I can admit that I am powerless and still be okay because the God of all creation who pursued my reconciliation, who sent His only begotten Son to redeem my life, actually loves me in my powerlessness and has a wonderful plan.
God’s plan is to teach us how to love like Jesus loves. Jesus did not please everyone he met (the corrupt leaders nailed him to a tree). Jesus did not pick friends who stuck with him through thick and thin (one betrayed him, one denied him, nine scattered, and one stayed with him). Jesus loved his neighbors as himself, even when they were irascible, betraying, and argumentative.
Suppose a group of Christians were all powerless to control anyone other than themselves, and further, let us suppose that they are only now learning how to control their own impulses and character. What could they do about their inability to make their neighbors love justice, show kindness, and walk in humility?
Love justice, walk humbly, share your joy
The answer is that they could love justice and get together to share their experiences offering justice. They could show kindness where it wasn’t appreciated or to the marginalized who could not repay them. Then they could get together to talk about the kindness of Jesus. They could walk humbly (they are powerless, after all) instead of arrogantly and share their joy that they are free from duplicity.
I have a friend who collects cartoons and shares them with me. Many of the cartoons are worth weeping over. We try to laugh, but it is disheartening to see the innocent suffer in war, the poor paying the highest prices in inflation, and the marginalized getting pushed farther into the shadows. We can’t stop these things, but we do have a chance to love well and share the joy of love within our forever family.
Dr. Paul Suich, Parish Counselor