By Josh Schweitzer, Director of Discipleship
When I was on Young Life staff, I quickly learned that real ministry doesn’t happen behind a podium or in a Bible study. It happens over coffee, at a basketball game, walking Lake Hollingsworth after a rough day, or while laughing over tacos. That’s where transformation begins – when someone simply shows up and listens.
Now, more than ever, young adults are searching for people who will journey with them but not lecture them. Here’s the good news: you don’t need to be a Bible scholar or a Gen-Z cultural expert to be that person. You just need to care and create some margin.
This might feel intimidating – That’s okay
Let’s be honest. For many adults, the idea of mentoring a college student or a 20-something sounds intimidating. You might be thinking, “I don’t know what’s cool anymore” or “what if they ask questions I can’t answer?”
That’s exactly where I started, too. But here’s what I’ve seen time and time again – mentoring isn’t about knowing everything but about being present. Young people aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for someone consistent, someone who genuinely care enough to ask, “how are you really doing?” and to stick around for the answer.
Young Life is all about incarnation ministry – showing up in the real spaces of people’s lives just like Jesus did. When I was on staff, we called this “earning the right to be heard.” That started by going where kids went, listening more than we talked, and building trust over time.
This is still the key: you can’t expect them to come to you – you must go to them. Mentorship doesn’t start in your living room. It starts on their turf, in their language, and in their world. Go to their recitals, their young adults’ ministry, and the places where they spend time. That’s where credibility is born. That’s where connections can start.
What Barna and Gen Z are telling us
According to Barna’s Faith for Exiles and other recent studies, young adults today are hungry for relationships that are real and spiritually grounded. Many of them aren’t leaving the church because they hate Jesus but because no one seems to have time to really know them.
Barna found that the number one driver for spiritual resilience in young adults wasn’t flashy programs or trendy worship music. It was meaningful relationships with adults who cared. That means you might be exactly what they need, even if you don’t feel qualified.
When Paul mentored Timothy, he didn’t just send him letters with theology bullet points. He told Timothy, “you, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance…” (2 Timothy 3:10). Paul’s discipleship wasn’t abstract. It was embodied in daily rhythms of life.
And Jesus? He spent all of his ministry in relationships – asking questions, telling stories, eating meals, and walking roads with people who didn’t have it all together. He entered their world before calling them to his. He gives us a model for engaging our young friends.
The greatest relational superpower you can have is the power of a good question. Not the kind that drills for doctrine, but the type that opens up great conversation:
- What’s been the hardest part of this season?
- What’s something you’ve never told anyone but wish someone had asked?
- Where have you seen God lately, if anywhere?
Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.” That’s our job. Not to fix but to draw out. And then to walk with them through the journey.
What if you start small?
I’m not asking you to become someone’s life coach or therapist. I’m asking you to have a meal, take a walk, send a text, or make a call – and then do it again next week. I’m talking about meeting one-on-one or in a micro group of three. We only have so much time and margin, so we must be intentional about being personal.
Start by listening. Weave scripture throughout the conversation. Ask where they’re seeing God – or not seeing him. You’ll be surprised how deep things can go when the relationship is rooted in trust.
Young adults aren’t looking for spiritual superheroes. One of the most significant gifts you can give them is your honesty. Share how you’ve messed up. Share what you’re still learning. Admit when you don’t know the answer. That kind of authenticity opens doors for them to do the same.
And when they hit hard seasons (and they will), you’ll be someone who’s earned the right to speak gently, truthfully, and with compassion – because you didn’t come with an agenda. You wanted to be with them.
Here’s how you can begin
Pray about one person God might want you to invest in as a mentor
Step into their world – go to their turf. Tim Timmes, our College and Young Adult Ministries Director, might have a few great ideas about that.
Ask intentional questions and listen without the urge to jump in with advice.
Be consistent. Even once every other week can make a difference.
Let scripture come up organically. Don’t force it. Live it.
Mentoring young adults isn’t about age, coolness, or being “relevant.” It’s about presence. It’s about being the kind of person who shows up, asks questions, and sticks around when life gets messy.
So if you feel that tug, don’t ignore it. You have what it takes because God has called all of us to this. You’ve lived. You’ve failed, and you’ve followed Jesus through the good and bad. And someone out there is looking for someone just like you to walk alongside them.
You don’t have to be an expert to make a lasting impact.
You just have to show up.